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What's The 411?

With the paparazzi in their speed dial, and trumping world news such as the war in Iraq, the 2008 presidential campaign, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer’s sex scandal, the latest contestant to get booted off American Idol, and O.J. Simpson’s latest caper in Las Vegas, the five BFFs enjoy celebrity justice and abuse their privilege by using the power of their social status and their checkbooks. Having created an epidemic of narcissism and self-importance, the world cannot get enough of these five young, fame-seeking Hollywood celebrities.

The pinnacle of all “breaking news” stories is when the self-destructive nature of Allie Dolanne leads her to the unfathomable: the cold-blooded murder of LAPD Detective Sammy Foxx. As far as Allie is concerned, she can’t possibly be guilty because her date, Dino Graziano, was driving and she claims she was unconscious in the passenger seat when Dino slammed her Bentley into reverse and ran over Foxx.

First word of Allie’s arrest reaches Tary, her sister, when a waiting paparazzo calls to her from behind his camera as Tary is sauntering up the red carpet at Hollywood hotspot Bordello to rejoice her taste of celebrity justice — spending only eighty-two minutes jail for her recent felony DUI.

Allie offers to do penance by checking herself into rehab if the District Attorney will drop the murder charge. Instead, the DA hires renowned private investigator Grant Westmore to prevent Allie from wiggling her way out of this one.

Her problems only worsen when a paparazzo, Eddie Holloway, snaps photos of her and Lara Tait on the beach outside her Malibu mansion in some girl-on-girl action. Eddie tells Kanari, his adult film goddess wife, he wants to use his prize-winning photos to blackmail Allie and Lara. Kanari, however, knows of a far more profitable option and approaches Allie with her deal.

Shaken by the photos, Lara wants Allie to join her and come clean, and face the consequences during a special appearance on The Tonight Show. Waiting in the Green Room at NBC Studios in Burbank Lara suddenly clutches her chest and collapses onto the sofa — dead.

At the autopsy, the coroner concludes Lara Tait’s cause of death was a heart attack. This makes Grant feel unsettled so he has his crew take turns tailing Allie. During their first day of surveillance, Allie meets with Eddie and Kanari Holloway. Grant can’t get his arms around why a starlet heiress like Allie is hanging around with a slimy porn queen and her paparazzo husband.

Grant’s case against Allie for the Foxx murder suddenly crystallizes when he screens the video footage taken by police and FOX News helicopters. Allie’s ubiquitous Apple iPhone is in her right hand at the start of the coverage and then it’s in her left, meaning she had been awake at least part of the time. But she’s not talking on the phone, she’s typing on the iPhone’s QWERTY keyboard.

Grant’s intuition tells him that if the person she had been texting also has an Apple iPhone, then the entire SMS text messaging session is stored as a running dialog in memory of both of their phones, thus making perfect evidence bookends.

Then things deteriorate for Allie even more when she sideswipes a parked car in Hollywood before an LAPD squad car pulls her over. It comes as no surprise that she fails the field sobriety test and the cops arrest her for yet another DUI. Facing a shower of flashbulbs, the driving-impaired diva makes bail and exits the jail around noon the next day.

Grant begins to uncover another story just below the surface when he and his crew discover Eddie Holloway is conspicuously missing among the throng of paparazzi present for the red carpet-esque debut of Allie’s new designer fragrance.

Fearing Holloway may be the victim of foul play Grant goes to Holloway’s house where he finds the unmistakable stench of death seeping through an open kitchen window. Clenching their throats, Kanari and Eddie Holloway are dead in a human pile on the carpet.

But just who killed them? Were they the target of a turf war from one of Eddie’s paparazzo competitors or was it a murder suicide?

At the crime scene a thought sweeps through Grant like a low-voltage prickle. Holloway’s whole life is taking celebrity pictures and making money selling those pictures. Yet, there isn’t one stinking photo in his laptop. Good detective work turns up an Apple Time Capsule hidden behind a wall in a walk-in safe. On the Time Capsule they discover the damaging photos of Allie and Lara, thus linking Allie to the Holloways.

The autopsy on Kanari and Eddie Holloway indicates that the only logical cause of death was heart attack. Grant doesn’t buy the odds of three people around Allie all dying from heart attacks. Inching closer toward the explosive truth about the real killer’s identity, Grant wants to exhume Lara’s body and check her tissues against Kanari and Eddie Holloway.

However, Ivanna Wolfe, the Deputy District Attorney, fights Grant tooth-and-nail because she wants to concentrate on only securing a conviction against Allie and Dino for the murder of LAPD Detective Sammy Foxx. Finally, she concedes but makes it clear that it’s Grant’s play and not hers.

Her head tilted, and a glance that says, “I am the queen of celebrity justice,” it’s another “Stop the Presses” moment for Allie with a plea of not guilty in Detective Sammy Foxx’s murder and a jury trial set for 60 days later.

Then Allie when takes a plea deal for her last DUI she infuriates the judge to the point she sentences her to 15 days in jail. The media swarms Allie later in the day when she makes a shocking move and reports to jail earlier than the date set by the judge to start her sentence for the DUI.

Watching the breaking news on television, Grant catches Allie in her one and only mistake. When she gets out of the limo, she hands the chauffer a cocktail glass and he casually tosses it onto the backseat. That simple, innocent action dooms her because another glass and a flask found under the rear seat have traces of the poison used to kill all three victims.

In an unprecedented action, Los Angeles County Sheriff George Zahn ignores the specific conditions of Allie’s sentence. With a monitoring device fastened to her ankle, he releases her from jail and places her under home detention.

That night, Allie stuns Noah Freeman, her sometimes-on-and-sometimes-off boyfriend, with the news of her pregnancy, the fact that the child is probably his, and that she is silently praying for a miscarriage.

The entire paparazzi nation is on hand at the courthouse when the judge orders Allie back to jail immediately. Fearful Allie may try to cause a miscarriage while in jail, Grant orders a DNA on Allie and Noah. Minutes later, he gets word from the coroner that they have a match and that all three victims have GHB, the date rape drug, in their tissues.

Grant calls a press conference at his office and explains how in a videotaped jailhouse confession, Allie admitted she finally abused her celebrity privilege to the point of no return by committing the four murders.

Ignoring the storm of questions from the anxious reporters, Grant turns to Noah. Shaking his hand, he says, “Congratulations, Noah, you’re about to be the father of a $10 billion baby girl.” Noah chokes up as Grant adds, “Please do me a favor. Teach her some values and never spoil her. And above all else, don’t let your precious new daughter abuse her privilege.”


Copyright © 2008 John Waters. All rights reserved.